10 Things to Love About Rahm Emanuel

Either you love him or you hate him...though it seems like most people hate that poor Rahm Emanuel.  If you ask me, I think we should be grateful he's Obama's Chief of Staff - because without him, even less could have gotten accomplished in Obama's first year.  I just feel as though the current Dems in office simply lack the chutzpah needed to get bills passed at this time of major Republican resistance.

Anyway - if you liked my last post, check out my latest article at Apoliticus entitled, "Top 10: Things to Love About Rahm Emanuel".  Happy Chanukah!

Religious Leaders and Politicians

This piece didn't get accepted at Apoliticus.com (where I occasionally contribute, and enjoy three steps of separation from Pat Cassels, Jake Hurwitz, Jeff Rubin, et al. of College Humor, since Busted Tees is an advertiser on the site and my articles have been linked alongside C.H. articles in various blog roundups, but I run-on-ly digress)...so I thought I would share this with you all.  Shame to leave my ramblin's to waste.  It was inspired by an appearance of Jon Gosselin and Rabbi Shmuley Boteach a few weeks back.  It's old news by now, but you'll find the piece in its entirety is very timely.  (Sarcasm alert!)

Awesome Trend to Watch for - Religious Leaders Helping Politicians

So Jon Gosselin is getting his life together.  How is he doing it?  By seeking a counselor?  Checking himself into d-bag rehab?  Attending his divorce hearings and presenting a reasonable, mature side to his case?

Nah.  He’s going on TV with a rabbi.  Of course!  This brilliant PR move for Jon gives him not only a few more minutes of fame, but the opportunity to spill his gentile guts to America.  Fellow TLC reality star Rabbi Shmuley Boteach of “Shalom in the Home” has signed up to ride the Gosselin family crazy train.  Shmuley is no stranger to cashing in on celebrity misfortunes.  His recent book, “The Michael Jackson Tapes” came out September 25th, a mere three months after Jackson’s death.  This guy moves fast.

But should Jon be the only one profiting from spiritual guidance?  No!  The separation of church and State only hinders progress.  There are some political figures and pundits out there who could really benefit from the help of an enthusiastic religious leader.

John Edwards and the Pope

John Edwards has broken a commandment or five, and could probably use a lap around the Vatican in the Popemobile.  Pope Benedict would be more than willing to teach John that if there were an 11th commandment, it would have read, “Thou shalt not beget progeny with a younger woman while thy wife is terminally ill.”

Joe Wilson and the Reverend Jesse Jackson

Best counter for Representative Joe Wilson’s outbursts?  Rhymes!  If these two teamed up, Jesse Jackson could defy Joe’s logic with brilliant contradictions in rhyme.  If Joe says, “You lie!” Jesse will reply, “You die!”  If Joe says, “I’m here to bring dissention!” Jesse will respond, “You just want more attention!”  Get ready for a breakthrough!

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Pat Robertson

You just can’t hate Pat Robertson.  Through the years he’s spewed a lot of hateful rhetoric aimed at various religions, races and the fairer sex, but whatever – bygones.  You have to give him a little credit for having the balls to stay in the public eye 27 years after an erroneous prediction of Armageddon in 1982.

So why Mahmoud?  Well, let’s just say it has the potential to be explosively successful.

Ann Coulter and the Dalai Lama

Ann Coulter is hated by so, so many people.  She has the uncanny ability to spark rage in everyone from 9-11 widows to…well, everyone.  So why should she be trapped in a room with the Dalai Lama?  Because he’s probably the only person in the world who could stand it.  If there’s any chance he could enlighten this crazy battle-ax, that’s just a bonus.

Joe Lieberman and Rabbi Shmuley

That’s right, it’s a Rabbi redux!  The good Rabbi can consider this one community service.  Joe Lieberman has been erring on the side of the GOP lately, and perhaps Shmuley can convince Joe that he’s not doing bupkes for the Democrats.  Much as Shmuley’s helping Jon Gosselin decide whether he wants to appear like an ass or a victim, he can counsel Joe into choosing whether he wants to be an ass or an elephant.

Thanks for reading one of my pieces that would have otherwise not seen the light of day.  If you're interested in reading more, check out my latest piece on Rahm Emanuel.  And if you know the anyone at College Humor, let them know I'm available for some freelance copywriting - if they're looking for some articles that don't have to do with private parts or vulgar slang for sex positions.

TEN NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

My #5.

I know it’s trite to say, but it’s hard to believe that it’s already the middle of December, not to mention it’s also the end of the decade!  So many things have changed for all of us in the past 10 years.  The “Aughts” have proven to be a time of metamorphosis here in the United States – and I guess we’ll just have to keep waiting to see how things are going to turn out for us.

All that aside, I wanted to share ten New Year’s resolutions that I thought would be beneficial for everyone to consider as we round the corner of a new year.  Nothing particularly new here, but it’s rather a reminder of some good ways to keep yourself happy, sane and fulfilled.

1.    Every time life isn’t going the way you want it to, recall something to be grateful for.

2.    Everyone needs to waste time with mindless games, TV or surfing the Internet.  But could you reduce your participation by 10%?  20%?

3.    Find ways to be more efficient doing things you don’t enjoy.  Then take that extra time to do a really superb job on the things you love.

4.    If you feel tired or generally unwell, address the problem by examining your eating habits and stress levels.

5.    Every once in a while, stop and learn from animals.  Their simple, contented lives of unconditional love are to be envied – and emulated.

6.    The next time you have a conversation with someone, really look into their eyes and listen.  Watch them impartially, with no ulterior motive or judgment.

7.    When the government monitors for terrorist activity, one of the things they do is watch for increased levels of “chatter”.  Monitor your own inner chatter – higher levels of internal negativity can lead to acting out – a.k.a. “relationship terrorism”.

8.    My father taught me a phrase when I was a little girl.  He said I should always remember these five words: Is it really worth it?  As a seven-year-old girl, I thought, “of course!” but now as I am older, I realize than 90% of the time, our emotional energy could be better spent elsewhere.

9.    If you feel stuck at any point in this up-coming year, consider looking at your situation as a long, picturesque but quiet bridge that will ultimately lead you to fulfillment.

10.    Remember that sometimes giving in to your own fear of change can be easier than continually fighting it for years.

Anyway, there were 10 New Year’s Resolutions to ponder today.  Enjoy what’s left of 2009, and best wishes to all of you in the upcoming year.

Types of Writers - Part II

It’s a snowy day here in northwest Connecticut, and it’s the kind of weather that makes me thrilled to be a freelance writer.  I have finally materialized my dream of not having to scrape ice, clear snow from my roof, or shovel the white stuff from in front of my tires – and instead work from my couch all day in my pajamas.  It’s just my personal version of Heaven.

Anyway, to continue my last post, let’s explore some of the other different types of writers to further illustrate the fact that we all have different talents – and just because you’re a writer doesn’t mean you have to master every style.  So here we go:

The Technical Whiz

You can compose technical literature regarding your areas of expertise in a flash.  You know more than anyone about combustion engines, computer programming, veterinary medicine, or whatever the heck it is that you know about.  Your most often used adjectives are not even pronounceable by 85% of the population.

Advantages:    You are the people who have advanced modern society.  Were it not for your meticulous note-keeping and stellar instructions, many would not have been able to learn their current trade.

Disadvantages:    At parties, you may tend to induce the dreaded “eye-glaze” after an unknowing mingler asks what you do for a living.

The Adventurer

You have been everywhere and seen everything.  Well, at least it seems that way to us unworldly folk.  Your friend and confidante, a spiral notebook, always accompanies you on your world travels (or sometimes just regional travels…no shame in that!)  When you visit a restaurant, or venture in a new land, you don’t just tell what you see – you strike inspiration in the hearts of your readers.  Your loyal following finishes your pieces knowing the best place to get a veggie burger and how to follow their bliss.

Advantages:    You make people feel alive and motivated to experience the sense of wonder they haven’t felt since they were a child.

Disadvantages:    Hmmm…If you can score a writing gig that pays you to travel, and then utilize your natural talents to write about it with flair and panache, well…you might get homesick occasionally?

The Slang Slinger

This type is often seen in movie or music critics, and is an embodiment of the typical “blogger” persona.  If words like “epic”, “pwned”, “wtf”, and “fail” are a constant presence in your pieces, you are probably in this category.  You’re knowledgeable about all of the latest pop culture trends and gossip, and you’re anxious to share your opinions with the world.

Advantages:    Funnest.  Job.  Ever.

Disadvantages:    You’ve got a great knack for sounding cool.  Your articles are easy to read – and fun, too.  Just make sure that you mind your p’s and q’s – and punctuation marks, and grammar – if you want to be taken seriously.

I hope you've enjoyed this list, and maybe think a little differently about how you judge yourself.

The Different Types of Writers – Part I

I often find myself comparing and contrasting my writing to that of others, which is a bit of a destructive process rather than a productive one.  Every writer is different – and while some are technically “better” than others, we each have our own distinctive style.  I find comfort in realizing that I don’t write certain types of copy – so why evaluate my work by comparing it to something entirely different?

Put it this way: some writers have a knack for writing unbeatable headlines, while others can write beautiful poetry.  Both have the same profession (essentially), but with dynamically different talents.

So I’m making this list to comfort other writers who, like me, forget that my specialty* ain’t the same as everyone else’s.

The Flawless Wordsmith
In my opinion, this is the purest, most enviable writer out there.  These guys can concoct beautiful phrases out of inane topics, and twist ugly words into a stunning metaphor.  They create poetry, but are not necessarily poets.  They can be found in any genre, from classic authors like novelist Vladimir Nabokov, to more modern writers like Jon Stewart of the Daily Show.  Don’t compare yourself to these people – simply admire and learn. 

Advantages:    You’re freaking awesome, basically.
Disadvantages:    Your style isn’t one-size-fits all.  People wanting a “quick read” (and there’s lots of them out there), may not have the time or capacity to appreciate your gift.

The Ad Man
This writer is what sprinters are to running.  They can make a mad, crazy dash to the finish line, but don’t necessarily have the endurance to go the distance.  Sparky ad campaigns like, “Just Do It” from Nike and “Maybe it’s Maybelline” keep burning through the years.  It’s possible that both our grandparents and our grandchildren alike will be familiar with these phrases.  It’s a whole different kind of writing – they’re not as much about the "craft" per se, but the impact that the combination of a few choice words can make.

Advantages:    You can make some pretty good cash if you work for a big ad agency.
Disadvantages:    If you’re better with phrases than sentences, you may encounter trouble if your assignments require you to compose something a little lengthier.
 
The Friend
Everybody loves the Friend.  The Friend is a superior blogger and forum poster, and always has something to talk about.  From stories about their pets and hobbies to what’s going on with their family, the Friend has the charisma to get you to sign up for their RSS feed - even though you've never met them in real life.  These folks tend not to use big words, but they use the common ones in such a way that really strikes your interest.  When you read their posts, you feel as if you were having coffee with a buddy, and catching up on what’s been going on.

Advantages:    You are the most popular kid on the Internet!  If you didn’t succeed in the popularity contest in high school (though I bet you did, you rascal), you will now!
Disadvantages:    I’m not sure how easily this ability translates into cold, hard cash.  You can attract a good following – which is invaluable – but you’ll need a good business model of some sort to make a profit.

If you don't see yourself in these three types, don't fret!  Next post I'll give you some more options to choose from!

In the meantime, check out my latest post on the One Cell Records Blog.

*Don’t have a specialty?  Keep writing and you’ll find your niche eventually!

Ah. So I'm a Connecticut Freelance Copywriter.

I have to laugh.  This SEO stuff makes me giggle - I can't help it!

Being somewhat of a purist in most situations (except if I'm asked to be pure, then I'll immediately rebel), it feels a little awkward to include SEO keywords.  I enjoy the competition aspect and the data/ranking/mathematical parts of it (I did work in an Accounting Office for 9 years), but I can't help feeling as though great writing needs no keyword phrase.  To me, it would be as if in the middle of writing "Imagine", John Lennon stopped to think, "If I keep repeating the word 'Imagine', I'll rise to the top of Google's rankings!  To the Toppermost of the Poppermost!"

Of course, the Beatles were bigger than Jesus, and I'm no John Lennon.  So I guess I need to keep imagining...that I'm having success being a Connecticut freelance copywriter.  That's right, you heard me.  I'm a Connecticut freelance copywriter, and I'm proud.

I'm putting that on a placard, and I'm gonna go march on the World Wide Internets.

Oh and btw, I've got a new website up.  Same bat place:

www.theinvisiblevisitor.com 

And please don't email me, telling me that "Impotent" is a typo.  It's already been done.  And it's not.

Working, not Updating

I've been (mostly) working (should be right now), but I will leave you with this video here that I have been playing over and over to listen to in the background while (should be) working.

Alex Greenwald
Through the Trees.


Oh yeah and check out the new website, which is soon to be REnew when I go over it once again. Work in Progress, so to speak.

www.theinvisiblevisitor.com